Today I’ll be making a list of things I can improve in myself.

Self improvement

  • Letting go of the past
  • Think before speaking
  • Excuses
  • Anger
  • Always right…

Those are the items I have identified for self improvement.
So let’s start…
Letting go of the past is a one I need to learn to do in reference to moving on, not forgetting because if I forget about the past I’ll just end up repeating it all over again and all progress that was made is now gone.
The past is something we have to look back on like a hand book of what to do and not to do as long as we read and remember it as if it was a book of our life.
I have a hard time letting go of the past as in I’ll remember mostly everything and keep questioning it as if I could go back and fix it only to realize I have brought back past memories and feelings that were once gone and repaired for a long time.
So when I go back into my past I start digging up old memories of things I could have fixed or changed…. It doesn’t work that way, I need to learn to leave certain things alone and use others as a reference or a guide of what not to do or do better in the future…

Thinking before speaking is another one I need to work on big time, I let my emotions speak for me instead of reason… So what happens? Well I’ll say something and that something will turn into something huge and messy, I could’ve prevented the incident however I didn’t and I let my emotions speak.
My actions take a hit because everything I’ve done good in the past is now gone because of my words, my words are like a wrecking ball and my actions is a huge beautiful building that was just destroyed by this wrecking ball, what was once a beautiful skyscraper is now a pile of rubble in some abandoned town where it’s left and forgotten.
Now I’m left with a mess and trying to find a way to clean it up and rebuild after speaking without thinking….

Excuses is something I’ll use to defend myself from actions I’ve taken or things I’ve said. I use it to try to repair the damage I have caused or for the people I’ve hurt in my path of destruction.
Excuses solve nothing and it’s something I’m working on right now, writing this is my way of putting these issues on the front page of my mind so that I can continue to improve.

Anger, anger, anger… 

Oh you ugly person you….

Learning to control this has been at the top of my list for ad for as I can remember, I try to be a super happy and joyful person yet I have this anger inside that likes to show its ugly face from time to time.
I see it coming like a giant monster that I can’t stop, just walking and running towards my lips and I stand there trying to stop it from coming out yet it just pushes me to the side and escapes to take control of whatever situation it feels needs to be created.
Good days turn to bad, happy moments turn to sad ones, laughs turn to tears.
This has to end right now!

Always right I am….

I always have the answer for everything even if I know I’m wrong I’ll try to have some answer. All this does is make me look like an asshole, a known it all… I do know a lot of things and I’ll normally research before I answer however I have the bad habit of answering or commenting before really knowing what I’m even talking about. This goes back to the think before I speak because this known it all mentality is not good and is a recipe for a argument…
Anyway that’s my list of of right now , I may add to it but I want to work on this right now and start checking off things as I go.

Stay tuned for more! Feel free to comment below